A Legacy of Provision
- Aubrey Johnson
- Oct 11, 2024
- 10 min read
Getting into the “swing of things” or a “groove” when starting something new doesn’t happen overnight. This is similar to building relationships. Some people, you can meet once and feel like you’ve known them forever. Others take warming up to or more time to grow comfortable with and understand how they fit in your life. And then, there are some people that we wish we had more time with, but life didn’t work out that way. This was the case for a family I met and grew close with the last year I was in Montana.
As people did, I took a break from going to church during the pandemic. However, by 2021, once vaccines were more common than not, I missed the church community and knew I needed to return. I went back to the church I started attending in 2019 when the world was less crazy, but I also sought out a Sunday school class to get more involved and meet more people. Being the small town that it is, full of families and retirees, all churches had limited “young adult” or “singles” groups. My choices were the adult Sunday School class (I attended once but was the youngest person by around 20 years) or the post-high school grad class. This was the opposite situation. Besides the leaders - a married couple in their late 40’s, Mike and Nicole - I, someone in her early 30s, was the oldest attendee for a while.
They had two late-high school-aged daughters in the class, who were mature for their age, and there were three or four post-high school young adults - one in college (their son), the others working or training for a trade. While I didn’t know it at the time, that group met a need I was missing - challenging discussions centered around faith and the Bible as well as community with believers that could grow into friendship. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the family I lived with and felt like I was a part of their family. But through that young adult Sunday school class, then later getting to know the family that led the class outside of the church, I was witness to some of the good days that people don’t know they’re in when they’re in them.
Mike and Nicole’s three oldest kids in the class all had strong personalities. Their parents raised them to stand by their opinions but also stand firm in their faith. Mike was a military man who retired from the U.S. Air Force, so through the years, they had a mix of experiences across the country. Their homeschooling allowed them to take challenging online courses that helped develop their thoughts and beliefs about the world. During some of the discussions, it was easier to sit back and watch as one of the oldest kids would get “fired up,” sharing their opinion, and sometimes arguing with the others. I shared my opinions, too, and asked questions when I felt comfortable. Something I valued about Mike and Nicole as the class facilitators was their demeanors, which balanced each other out. They were practical, wise, humorous, and loving. They took turns dropping truth bombs or seeds of wisdom. When I first joined, the class was discussing Mere Christianity which led to lots of interesting discussion, relating C.S. Lewis’ views with what we were experiencing in our lives currently. Once we finished that in the new year, the class agreed to read Live Not By Lies by Rod Dreher. Google Books describes it with this sentence: “The New York Times bestselling author of The Benedict Option draws on the wisdom of Christian survivors of Soviet persecution to warn American Christians of approaching dangers.” It was a more difficult read for me since it brought up topics I’d never delved into before. The point was to have good discussions in class, and it was ripe with challenging and thought-provoking topics. I didn’t always agree with everyone in the class or the views of the author. However, Mike and Nicole never singled me out and always welcomed my questions and challenging opinions. So much so, that I was invited to their house to share my thoughts and concerns in a more relaxed setting without others in the class. Their kids joined us at the kitchen table where I learned more about their personal lives while drinking an Old Fashioned and herbal tea because their oldest liked mixing drinks and one can’t live on yeast products alone. I felt valued and heard, and I knew I was welcome. That night I stayed to have dinner with them, and we were joined by their three younger kids.
At the dinner table, the eight of them laughed and bantered, shared about their days, challenged each other, and shared their thoughts - some because they were asked, some because they had more outgoing personalities. That night, and one other I came for dinner, I was welcomed as a witness to what I idealize a family should be. Everyone has his or her own personality and opinions, but they love each other well. Over the months I knew them, I saw that through respect, honest communication (sometimes with different tones and ways of saying things, which just made them more relatable), service towards one another, humor, and self-sacrifice. I knew I was making a good decision to move back to Oklahoma, but I also knew I would miss this family.
The following weekend after I returned to Oklahoma, not only was I watching Facebook and the national news broadcasts for once-in-a-millenia-type flood updates happening in Park County, but I also got news of Mike’s passing. His death was both unexpected and building from an underlying condition, but his diagnoses of multiple cancers came too late as they rapidly progressed. The cause was building since the root was finally determined to be exposure to toxins from the massive burn pit during his time in Afghanistan eight years prior. I was not there to help the town that was my home nor offer whatever I could (probably food) to the family I came to love. I cried over them and prayed for them.
Two years later, when I visited Livingston this past March, I connected with Nicole and heard more about her life after I left. One thing I did not expect to hear was how her three youngest kids stepped up to provide for the family. Mike was a hunter and had experience with firearms from his military background. As such, he valued the importance of gun safety and taught his family. Mike took Ryan, their oldest, hunting one season, and taught it as a means to provide meat for one's family versus hunting for sport. However, the fall after Mike passed, Ryan was busy with work and school, and hunting is usually a major time commitment since filling tags takes time. Nicole lost so much by losing her husband, but a practical role that was not filled anymore was the main provider in the family. To help fill that particular need, the three youngest, who were teenagers, stepped up.
Since Nicole homeschooled her kids, they all had more flexible schedules. In the fall of 2022, their first without their dad, the kids devoted their time to school, work at the local Albertson’s and Ace Hardware, and hunting. Her then 16-year-old son enjoyed it much more than his sisters, and he would have hunted every day if he could. It wasn’t the thrill of hunting that attracted him to the task, but more the enjoyment of being alone outdoors and providing for his family. He spent hours “glassing” - using binoculars to scan for elk high in the hills and mountains so he’d know where to come back to hunt.
Nicole said that everyone has to have their own license and tags to harvest an animal. If a hunter is a minor, that person also has to show their hunting safety class certificate. In the class, which all three kids took, they learned safe and ethical hunting practices and how to field dress an animal. That fall Nicole purchased one general elk and deer license/ tag for each of the three kids.
According to the Montana Department of Fish, Wildlife, and Parks, “Resident hunters may purchase this license over the counter at FWP offices and other license providers for $20 plus the required Conservation License ($8) and Base Hunting License ($10).” Once the equipment is obtained, aside from time, the cost to fill a freezer for a family is minimal, which is what my friends needed during this difficult time. The license allowed the kids to hunt with an adult on public lands, but their family friend had private land that he took them out on for hunting. This meant less competition with fellow hunters and a safer, more well-known environment for the first-timers. A common ethical practice, though, was to not hunt along property lines. If they shot something and the animal jumped the fence, they would not get to harvest it unless they illegally crossed property lines since it would be unethical to let the animal suffer.
For those not familiar with hunting, like I was not, a tag is a physical piece of paper that may be waterproof but may not. (In that case, it can be sealed in a bag if the animal needs to be left and retrieved the next day.) Once a hunter field dresses an animal, the tag is stapled or taped to the ear of the animal. That way, if the Department of Natural Resources stops the person, they’d know the animal was legally harvested. The animal is then taken to a butcher unless people butcher their animals themselves like my Montana family - read here for more, and the butcher checks the tag again. The tag stays with the animal through processing as proof it was not poached, and when the carcass is disposed of, so is the tag.
Hunting tags are issued based on herd populations which are measured by the state. If the herd is too big, the state could extend shoulder hunting seasons at the start or end of the five-week hunting season or issue more out-of-state tags. The “general” tags Nicole purchased for her kids are specifically regulated. In Montana a general elk and deer tag allows the hunter to harvest specific animals during specific time frames, depending on the populations in each hunting region, of which Montana has seven. For example, in the West Slope Crazy Mountains, district 315, zone 3 (between Bozeman and Livingston), someone with a General Deer License can harvest an antlered buck mule deer or either-sex white-tailed deer. In the same district, a General Elk License allows a youth hunter aged 12-15 who is hunting with an adult to harvest either-sex elk (since there would be fewer successful youth hunters) or an adult hunter could harvest a brow-tined bull or antlerless elk (Montana FWP Hunting Regulations, 2024). There are other licenses and tags for different specifications and animals. (For those curious, according to Montana Outdoors, a brow-tined bull is “an elk with one or both antlers having a point on the lower half that is at least 4 inches long” [Dickson, 2010]. Yet another indication about how skilled hunters need to be… spot that in your scope miles away!)
Nicole shared that in the fall of 2022, the girls didn’t want to hunt, but they did agree to take the class.
The in-person class was shorter than an online class because it included a field day for practice. The girls tried, but they were not as invested as Nicole’s 16-year-old son, so he was the one who filled his tags that fall. Nicole bought him a hunting rifle since it didn’t happen when Mike was alive, but she relayed that the gift was from his dad since Mike had intended to do so.
Their family friend taught all three kids how to butcher and eventually, field dress the deer and elk they harvested (remove the organs before bringing their harvest back from the field). They were more successful the following year in 2023; all three kids filled their tags. They field-dressed and butchered three deer and one elk. Not all of their older siblings were at home to feed anymore, but, providing meat for a family of six, in a state known for an expensive cost of living, was a significant contribution. One Mike would have been proud of. He was not there to do it, so by his son stepping up to fill the need in the first season without him, his teenage son carried on his legacy of provision. Mike will not be replaced. He will always be missed. But his family carried on and did what was needed.
In terms of meat, Nicole shared that a cow’s meat tastes better than a bull's due to testosterone. It’s also better to have a clean shot because meat from a stressed animal with adrenaline in their system has a different taste. The kids are not expert butchers, so they mostly end up with roasts, and the rest is ground. They don’t know enough to get steaks or bone-in meat since they don’t have a specialty saw. Everyone is fine with tacos, casseroles, pasta with meat sauce, hamburgers, and chili. In The Harvest Baker, Ken includes two recipes that fit my friends’ Italian and Tex-Mex tastes and would be great with ground deer or elk - Bolognese Slab Pie with Broccoli Rabe and Zucchini Taco Pie. The first time I made the Zucchini Taco Pie was for my Montana family with ground deer from their freezer, so I know that’s game-meat and hunter-approved. The Bolognese Slab Pie would be just as delicious with game meat instead of the called-for ground beef. Both are hearty meals, perfect for a cold winter night, or a warm fall evening when you’re dreaming of fall temperatures. (Is anyone else over the 80 and 90-degree days in October? 😅)
Whether you are a hunter, know a hunter, or are a strict vegetarian, people provide for their families in various ways. It could be tangible, through money or things. It could be passing down skills and values. But it is always with time. I hope you value the time you have with those close to you. Learn from them. Laugh with them. And be as present as possible.
My friends’ lives were shattered when Mike died. Nicole and her kids have been able to carry on since it's what is needed. Thankfully they were not alone, though. Family, friends, organizations such as the Tunnel to Towers Foundation, and U.S. Senator Jon Tester's PACT Act benefits have been a support in the years since Mike's passing. Nicole continues to raise awareness for those affected by toxic burn pits and their families. Read about Tester's PACT Act for which Nicole was interviewed here.
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